Sunday, 12 June 2016

Coming out of the social media closet......

Before I had kids I promised myself (like many others I’m sure) that I wouldn't turn into a social media mum bore. I mean.... don't these people have a life?! it’s all kids kids kids... yawn.  

Then I realised.....  

1. Children ARE your life. 

I don't mean this in a soppy, gushy 'I love them so much, they are my absolute world' way. I mean this literally. 
They ARE my life.I am responsible for 2 small people, at ALL times. There is a limited amount you can do when you have a 3 year old (who when out in public acts so wild its as if I keep her locked in a cupboard) or an 18 month old beast who thinks its his way... or no way! 

You will mostly find me, at home, at the park, at a supermarket, or in some kind of soft play hell. Sometimes I get to meet up with other people, but most of the time this involves me having stilted conversations, in between randomly shouting the names of my children, in order to stop them from doing something they shouldn't. 

Children cannot be left alone (crazy right?), therefore I am pretty much in their company 24/7.

I spend the majority of my time with these mini pixies on speed, so if I’m going to post anything about my day, it includes them.  

2. I actually like them. 

I know..... shock horror! I like my kids! Yes probably 90% of the time they are annoying, they just whine, and cry and demand things from me ALL DAY. I have to repeat myself at least 4 times before my 3 year old even acknowledges I’m speaking to her, never mind actually doing what I’ve asked. 
This is for EVERYTHING from the simple task of going for a wee, to not holding her brother around the neck. 

So....if there is a glimmer of anything nice that's happened in my day I’m going to exploit it. Sometimes it is just a vague attempt at proving to myself, and the world, that my life doesn't suck as much as I thought it did that morning, when I was stood in the doctors, an Evian bottle of wee (not mine) in my hand with one child lying on the floor screaming, and the other climbing all over the equipment. 

Just what you want when trying to portray that you are totally coping with life.

3. I'm proud 

This one is twofold.... I'm proud of them... and I'm proud of myself!
I made them!!! Just like if you made something amazing (and I think a mini human is pretty special) you'd take a picture of that bad boy and upload it to social media quicker than you can say 'here's one I made earlier'!! 

Well that's what kids are like. To their parents, they are beautiful.... always!!  

As for me, as a parent the smallest things become the biggest achievements. If I’ve managed to do a load of washing AND leave the house and do something nice, and there is some photographic evidence of me totally excelling at being a Mum, it’s going online for all to see!! 

Other days I am just pleased we are all still alive (and have clean teeth).  

At the end of the day I think we all fit into some kind of social media 'type'  

We have the solo selfie type ... lots of pictures of ...themselves. Personally I don't get it but that's maybe because I am totally shit at selfies and couldn't do a good one if my life depended on it. We have the 'motivational quote' type.... sometimes also followed by a solo selfie. The 'health kick' type that mostly post gym updates and healthy food shots, making us feel really guilty about the cake, crisps and chocolate bar we've eaten that day... (Oh and wine... and cheese...)

There are those that... to quote my husband.... 'hashtag the shit out of things', there are those with perfect lives, those that post TMI (which everyone secretly loves) and there are those that are just 'lurkers'... these are the worst....they are like the social media police.... never post anything... but are always moaning about those that do. 

If you are a closet mum bore (or a closet anything), holding back for fear of becoming something you vowed never to be.... forget it! Embrace it! We are who we are. 

Whatever your type, be media would be a pretty boring place without us all. 

So.... yes... I'm a classic mum bore. Even worse.... I’m a mum bore that's started a parenting blog!! Talk about Cliché. 

But you know what....I'm ok with that.

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